>> Dec 9, 2009
This was going to be a writing workshop post about how I used to think I was laid back but realised that actually I'm pretty anal. It was going to be called something along the lines of Anal Me, and I started writing an explanation for the title saying how you shouldn't worry, there was nothing about anal sex here, which got me thinking...
...why is anal sex such a big taboo? Why, at the very whisper of a possibility of it being mentioned, do people shy away from the topic, eyes wide with fear or shock? Or furiously expound on how they would never do something like that? Saying 'like that' with that funny screwed up face that makes you well aware of how dirty and wrong they consider it.
Why is that?
Is there something wrong with anal sex? Is it bad? Evil? Something to be ashamed of?
There are, I am sure, plenty of people out there partaking and yet you never hear it being discussed.
I have sat in pubs surrounded by gobby northern birds (of which I am one) chucking back pints of larger and talking none too quietly about who we slept with, what they were like in bed, whether we give blow-jobs or not. All without a care for who over-heard us, but not once did anybody ever mention anal sex except possibly in the same tones described above, in a hushed voice declaring their bum a no-go zone.
I have had hilarious, brilliant and informative discussions with friends about vibrators, love balls and lubes. Known women happily talk about bondage, role play, sex in the great outdoors and sex in public places or how they travelled across town on public transport in nothing but their sexy undies under their big winter coats to go a calling on their man. But never in my life have I had a conversation with another woman where anal sex comes up without them developing a sudden interest in the view out of the window or becoming bizarrely puritan about it. Which, in turn, makes you feel shy and embarrassed about the topic as well.
It it because it's your bum and it's where poo comes from? Are we really that pathetic? Or is it because, well, I just don't know.
Now, don't get me wrong here, I'm not asking why people do or don't enjoy it or wish to partake of it. It's your body, your decision what you do with all its little holes and crevices, but why are not allowed to discuss it or *gasp* admit to doing it and even enjoying it? Why it is one of those things that we feel we can only admit drunkenly to our best friend after making her to swear to secrecy? It's just sex after all, and we threw that taboo off years ago.
Is it time to throw back the covers off this one as well, to lift the shroud of embarrassment that surrounds anal sex? Is the world ready for that? Ready for people to stand up, loud and proud and say 'I do it, I enjoy it and I am not ashamed'?
Because, I'm not -ashamed that is- and I don't understand this taboo.