Making Myself Sick With Stupidity

>> Jan 10, 2010

You'd think I'd learn.

You'd think after five years I would have figured it out by now.

After making the same revolting mistake over and over again, some sort of memory should have built up, right?

It seems not.

Perhaps I'm a bit slow.

A bit challenged.

Perhaps years of being a sweetie lover, especially the fruity black ones, in England has made it impossible for me to build up this barrier.

I've only gone and done it again.

*smacks heel of hand repeatedly into forehead*


'Would you like one?' my friend asks smiling sweetly and holding out a bag of sweets.

Before I can stop myself I'm reaching forwards, hand dipping into the bag, going straight for the blackcurranty goodness that is the little black one nestled amongst the reds, greens and yellow and poping it into my mouth.

One chew and my face creases up into an expression of horror and disgust. I open my mouth, holding the offending thing on my tongue looking around wildly for somewhere to spit it.  My friend gives me a look that says 'you spit that on my carpet and your dead'.  The seconds tick by, black slime from the disintegrating candy rolls down my tongue and into my throat. I think I might be sick.  I fumble in my pocket and find a crusty old tissue. Fumbling, I ignore the look of disgust my friend is giving me.

'Pah, pah, pah,' I spit the vile, offending black sweet of satan out and try to remove all traces of black slime from my mouth but it's too late, I know this from past experience. No matter how much I attempt to remove the flavour by washing my mouth out or cleaning my teeth I won't be able to budge it. It will linger in my nose and throat and on the roof of my mouth for hours making me feel queasy and my stomach churn.

Why am I unable to remember that the little black sweeties, the ones that look like little delicious blackcurrant treats, are in fact a vile salty licorice flavour called Salmiaki.

Why can I not learn this?

*hits self in head again*

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to clean my teeth for the 12th time this afternoon.

More posts on my own stupidity
Stupid Things I Have Done
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