If I Were Queen Of The World: My 5 Royal Decrees

>> Feb 14, 2010





If I were The Royal Ruler of all things Earth bound, these would be my decrees.





1.  All lightbulb fittings must be of the same size and type, anyone caught trying to introduce different sizes or fitting types will be shot on sight.  The Royal Electricians will go around every home in the world, free of charge, and change all light fittings to match this new standard, one size fits all, bulb fitting.

2.  Premises found selling packages with sharp edges (cooked and raw meats sections, I'm looking at you) that cut, rip or tear shopping bags, will be burnt to the ground on spec.

3.  Any country that doesn't have Cadbury's chocolate for sale throughout its realm will be taken outside and given a stern talking to.  Repeat offenders will be sunk.

4.  Toy companies will, with immediate effect, cease to strap their toys to boxes with eleventy billion twist ties, on penalty of having their toe nails ripped out.

5.  Anybody that drives closer than 2 meters to the car in front will be dragged to the impound lot and crushed inside their car.  No excuses accepted.
    But other than that, it's been a super day.

    Sigh.

    What would your Royal Decrees be?

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